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I used to work out for almost an hour every day. Run 4 miles. I stopped in April. I am so out of shape it’s not even funny. I don’t even care how skinny I am. I am out of breath like no other, heart racing, dripping sweat. 

One day at a time though. I have got this. Soon, I will be able to work out like I used to and start lifting weights. I hate my life right now though. 

Fuck working out. Fuck it. But this is a lot better than sitting around doing nothing. Now a quick shower and studying. I am going to be a doctor and I won’t let anybody bring me down or stop me. 

S u r v i v i n g t o n i g h t

I want a drink. Dammit. All I need at the moment is a drink. Give me some Fireball whiskey or some other whiskey. I could care less. Hell gives me a cheap ass beer and I will still take it and drink it. I need a drink. I want to feel the burn in the back of my throat. I want to feel the heat in my chest. But I don’t need it. I don’t know how I am supposed to resist when my entire being is telling me I need this stuff. I know all I have to do is take some Benadryl, go to bed. I will wake up in the morning wondering how the hell I even thought of drinking. But for right now, I can’t. So I’m going to resist and survive. Because that’s what I need to do. I just wish it was easier. 

wnderlst:

Clingmans Dome | Aaron Sorrell

I see this and I remember so much. I remember Celina, that little trailer on the base of the mountains. I remember driving back to Cookeville from Livingston, seeing the sun hit those hills and mountains beautifully. Taking 290 and before the stop sign at 56 North/South, there was this beautiful view of a valley. And it made my breath stop every time. I remember the waterfalls; I swam in Burgess falls in Feb. ‘14. I froze my butt off but it was the most amazing thing in the world. I remember Cummins falls (before the children died there). The rocks were coated with slick yellow. And I tore my left arm muscle pretty well when I slipped and caught myself. I remember going to the edge of Cummins falls and thinking “I could fall here. I could die.” I remember the “unnamed” one (which I am pretty sure was on private property; oops.) I almost went swimming, but the water was white capping. The fish would jump out of the water though to catch the bugs flying above the water. I remember the smell of the mountains, the way there would be fog after an afternoon shower, I can still close my eyes and see it. It’s my home. It will forever be my home. I don’t feel at home anywhere else. I can only lie to myself for so long. I’m like Spirit seeing the Eagle and having an urge to “go home”, but being unable to. It kills me not being there anymore. I miss it so much. I just want to go back there and just relive it. Take a few more hours and really capture it’s beauty. But I can’t. And you’re not supposed to look back; only forward. But my heart’s broken, my soul is dying, and the only remedy I know are those mountains, those old routed roads, those waterfalls, those lakes, etc. I can’t even really describe how much that place meant to me. I can’t believe I just abandoned that place. </3 

queertodaygonetomorrow:

atane:

wristxrocket:

dear-drifter:

lilightfoot:

Remember.

his life was totally in danger.

^^^^

True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/pepper-spray-cop-settlement_n_4152147.html

Taking into consideration, that any law official can pepper spray/OC spray passive resistant people/persons when they refuse to follow a lawful order. Which given their occupational status, they can issue lawful orders to maintain the peace/order of the area they are entrusted to protect.  

(Source: kropotkindersurprise)

The worst part is that

unlikelypachyderm:

there are soooo many wonderful people on the police force who truly want to help people, but the few horrible barf bags that abuse their power makes everyone hate and not trust A SINGLE COP.

Exactly. Cops are humans. Whether some are douches, some aren’t. While some are intelligent, others are… less intelligent. Humans make mistakes. People don’t hate cops. They hate that they were taught to trust cops and some turned out to be untrustworthy. Just like how many girls say “guys are pigs”. -.-

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